Things i'll never say
by Belle A Lestrange
Summary: songfic to "Things i'll never say" by avril lavigne. a week after the etoile elections Nagisa begins to have a lot of things on her mind. Shizuma's behaviour scares her. R & R!


**Thing's I'll never say**

Nagisa was walking cautiously through the corridors of Miator trying hard not to get noticed by Tamao-chan or Shizuma-sama. She did not want to see Tamao because the girl had been getting very touchy-feely over the summer vacation and Nagisa didn't like it at all. She didn't want to see Shizuma either since she felt awkward around the older girl. They may have been together since the Etoile elections a week ago but Nagisa was still shy. On top of that Tamao just couldn't take the hint of rejection in front of all three schools, which really pissed Nagisa and, not so surprisingly, Shizuma. The redhead was deep in thought about asking Miyuki to change dorms when she turned a corner and …

**CRASH!**

"Oh my goodness I am so sorry!" Nagisa immediately apologised helping to collect the falling objects. She handed them to the person before looking up into their eyes and froze. "Shi-Shi-Shizuma-sama!"

"Hello Nagisa, love, how are you this morning?"

_I'm tugging at my hair  
I'm pulling at my clothes_

_I'm trying to keep my cool  
I know it shows  
I'm staring at my feet  
my cheeks are turning red  
I'm searching for the words inside my head_

"Nagisa are you alright? You look a little … _hot_" Shizuma purred running a hand down Nagisa's cheeks which were burning redder than her hair. "Why don't we go for a walk and get some fresh air?" the former Etoile extended her hand.

Nagisa smiled shyly "Hai"

They walked outside along the banks of the lake when Shizuma turned to her girlfriend "Nagisa"

"Mmm?"

"Why have you been avoiding me?"

"I … I haven't"

Shizuma whirled around to face her "don't lie to me I know you have! You won't even let me help you with your homework, what's wrong? Don't you love me anymore?" Nagisa felt like she wanted to cry.

_I'm feeling nervous  
trying to be so perfect  
Cause I know you're worth it  
you're worth it  
_

"I'm not perfect enough for Shizuma-sama"

The answer took Shizuma completely by surprise. Her emerald eyes widened in shock and amusement "what do you mean?"

Nagisa blushed harder "I am not good enough for Shizuma-sama"

Shizuma spun the younger girl around to face her and tilted her chin upwards "is that was this is all about?" Nagisa nodded "oh love I don't care if your not perfect you're mine and that's all that I care about" Shizuma pulled the younger girl into a hug, which Nagisa returned sheepishly her eyes closing at the content feeling pounding through her body.

_If I could say what I want to say  
I'd say I wanna blow you... away  
Be with you every night  
Am I squeezing you too tight_

After they had hugged one another breathless Shizuma was thrown backwards by Nagisa thrusting her tongue into her girlfriends' mouth. She smirked into the kiss and wrapped her arms tightly around Nagisa's lithe waist, deepening the kiss. Shizuma broke the kiss "Nagisa … is there anything you want to say to me?"

In Nagisa's minds eyes she saw Shizuma opening up a large blue velvet box with a larger ring inside. She mentally shook her head out of its daze and blushed lightly "Hmm? Oh no I'm fine"

_If I could say what I want to see  
I want to see you go down  
On one knee  
Marry me today  
Guess, I'm wishing my life away  
With these things I'll never say_

"Are you sure?" Shizuma asked, knowing full well that Nagisa had something on her mind. Nagisa nodded. Shizuma sighed in defeat and flopped down onto the grass. "Why do I feel as though you are keeping some great secret from me?"

"I'm … I'm not Shizuma"

_It don't do me any good  
It's just a waste of time  
What use is it to you  
What's on my mind  
If it ain't coming out  
We're not going anywhere  
So why can't I just tell you that I care_

Nagisa once again felt hurt "please Shizuma just drop it it's … nothing important"

"It's clearly important if it's distracting you form me!" Shizuma's eyes welled up with tears. "It's that tart Tamao isn't it?" Nagisa's eyes widened in disbelief, was Shizuma still jealous?

She opened her mouth to deny it "Shizuma I … I can't … I mean I don't …"

_What's wrong with my tongue  
these words keep slipping away  
I stutter, I stumble  
Like I've got nothing to say  
_  
Shizuma got the wrong idea from these few stuttered words and stood up and backed away from Nagisa, tears rolling down her cheeks "I thought you loved me"

"I do! It's just …"

"Just what?"

"I can't …" Nagisa cursed herself for being so weak. She was hurting Shizuma all because she didn't want to tell her how she really felt.

"Of course you don't love me" Shizuma sneered evilly "you CAN'T EVEN SAY IT!!!"

"Shizuma-sama-"

"LIAR!!!" and with that she ran from the lake, sobbing her lungs out. Nagisa ran after her but somewhere through the woods she lost sight of the older girl. She had always been faster than Nagisa. Feeling downhearted Nagisa trudged back to Miator. She went up to her dorm and grimaced as Tamao beamed at her from where she sat on her bed.

"Nagisa-chan do you…?"

"Not now Tamao I'm too tired to talk" and without another word Nagisa plonked herself onto her bed and went to sleep.

_Guess I'm wishing my life away with these things I'll never say_

Her mind instantly went to Shizuma-sama, her sleek platinum hair, her large emerald eyes, her pearly skin and her lovely pink lips. She sighed to herself when she heard Tamao leave for dinner. Ten minutes later Nagisa decided to go down herself even though she wasn't hungry. She needed to talk to Shizuma. Urgently. Shizuma was worried as Nagisa hadn't turned up with Tamao for dinner, but ten minutes later the redhead barged through the large double doors. "Shizuma-sama!" All three schools turned to face Nagisa, but Nagisa's eyes were purely fixed upon Shizuma's.

"Yes Nagisa-chan what is it?" a murmur broke out about he formalities the two used on one another. Nagisa stalked through the aisle and grabbed Shizuma's wrist and pulled her up from her seat. She looked up angrily into Shizuma's eyes "I hate being called what I am not!"

"And what are you not?" Shizuma replied stonily.

_If I could say what I want to say  
I'd say I wanna blow you...away_

_Be with you every night  
Am I squeezing you too tight_

"I AM NOT A LIAR!"

"Prove it" Shizuma growled leaning low into Nagisa's face, with no intention of kissing her. This hurt Nagisa. She tightened her hold on Shizuma's wrist. Then she did something that Shizuma would never have suspected of her little Nagisa.

_If I could say what I want to see  
I want to see you go down  
on one knee_

Nagisa opened the little box she had bought during the last week with a large emerald encrusted, platinum ring "Marry me today" she couldn't believe it. She had just asked Shizuma for her hand in marriage. She hoped she'd say yes. Her knee was aching as she waited for an answer. Mentally she sighed.

_Guess, I'm wishing my life away  
With these things I'll never say  
These things I'll never say_

She closed her eyes in defeat and was about o get up when "yes"

She opened her eyes and blinked in surprise "w-what?"

"Yes I'll marry you!" Shizuma grabbed the younger girl and pressed their lips together. The hall applauded. Tamao sulked low into her chair before getting pushed along to the small chapel where they awaited the arrival of Shizuma and Nagisa. In Shizuma room she dressed herself in a sleek tight-fitting black dress and combed her hair into and elegant bun on top of her head. In Nagisa's room she slipped into a gift from both Shizuma and Miyuki. It was Kaori's dress from the Etoile election. She knew Shizuma didn't want to her to wear it but she felt a sort of gratitude for the dead girl, as she slipped on the white dress and tired her hair up into a large white bow.

_**In the chapel …**_

As Nagisa walked down the aisle to her beloved, Shizuma's breath hitched. That was definitely Nagisa … in Kaori's dress? Why? When Nagisa was at her side Shizuma leant down and whispered, "why wear Kaori's dress?"

Nagisa shrugged "she was special to you and this is a special day, she should be involved somewhere" Shizuma smiled at Nagisa. She had truly grown up since that fight in her summerhouse and Shizuma was proud of her for it. As Sister Mizue Hamasaka announced them wife and wife Shizuma felt she saw Kaori standing beside Nagisa as they looked into each other's eyes. The 'ghost' Kaori seemed to give a huge smile of appreciation and a satisfied nod as Shizuma bent down and kissed Nagisa's red lips.

"I love you Shizuma"

"I love you too, Nagisa" Shizuma meant every word of it. She was truly happy that day. So was Nagisa. She also smiled at the after-party at how much Nagisa loved to twirl around in Kaori's dress, as she twirled er around the dance floor. But that was another thing that she knew the redhead wouldn't say.

**FIN**


End file.
